​
Four men holding four dogs on a leash


Walking in slow pace across the school yard


The coffee is bitter and creamy


I remember when I was very young


I asked my cousin, who was in high school


“Why do you drink this thing? It’s bitter!”


I have forgotten his answer, mustn’t be a remarkable one


But that was my first taste of coffee


Bitter, infused with my hatred.


Now before I sleep


I think about the creamy bitter coffee that I will drink tomorrow


And


It brings me joy


Almost the same as a large taffy


Will send the Eight-year-old me to the clouds


I close my eyes and wonder


What tomorrow will bring.


It is curious about the things I used to mock


I don’t know if I have become a hypocrite


Or becoming a man, while losing his child.

​We are all stuck here in this piece of history


You stand behind the counter


I come in and sit down at the pavilion every day


You dream of marvelous wonders in the world that I bring in


I crave a good cup of coffee to calm myself down while listen to the birds


There is no greater truth in my being or yours


No union, Nor love affair, Certainly no friendship


Figments of imagination pumped by wild fantasies


Channeled as fuel to feed the lifelessness of our shared colorless days


You, in your conviction of a story


I, in an endless search for something that extends infinitude


There isn’t anything special


See, that’s a word crafted and infused with artificiality


In sooth, the truth is all too plain


We are but human after all.

​
Temptation lives in the heart


To Want; To Please; To Squander


Pokes the eye and Plagues the imagination


Seize the mind to Stare


And


Squeeze out nobler Dispositions


Takes men for women,


Women for meat.


Creeps in with long Patience


Nudge every waking object 


Into


Walking Pleasures


Command men to beasts,


Reason to a whore.


As Storming Winds puffing


Wheezing


An ever so old tale


To Dwindle


Our twinkling, scolding soul.


A constant regret


That led to sunny prayers


Ever so frail is a man.


Yet by a sleep so dies


His Studious Convictions


Have faith, ye gods


Or ye godless gods so faithless win'ed.



 

​
I stand in exile


Some nowhere island hoarding plenty people


It rains a lot and still they work


No obvious ambition


And everybody


Is so eager to relax.


They just drink, dance, smoke and laugh


But meek enough to bow down to the money machine


They appear god-ish but


Nobody seeks


Study, work, fuck, marry, raise kids


Without much survival pressure


Never in my life did I dream of here


Yet here I am entrapped and footloose


See they emphasis a different type of life


Resemblance of soul but truly living as ants


Yesterday I asked a cab driver


“In an ideal world, what would you do?”


“A mechanic, yeah? Fix cars, more money.”


“But if you can be


The king of France


A Fighter pilot


CEO of all corporations


Pope of the catholic church


would you still be a car mechanic?”


“Oh, then no, yeah?”


“What would you be then?”


There was only silence


And I mourned for another wasted soul


“Make you think, yeah?” he says


Precisely, since you flushed it


Right down the toilet.

The Slower it gets


  The More Flavor one finds


    In the Minute Passing


      One learns the treasure of Time


And the weight of Life


  Incessant Marching Drum in Undertow


    But live to breathe, eat, talk


      And taste the differences of Air


We all Live and We all Die


  Find tenderness and Love in company


    Devotion and Honor in the works


      Abide and Follow None Else But Truth.


​

Into the night I rode


A moderate good distance


My royal horse turns and coughs


Left me some walking


Singing familiar tunes


I pause every few steps for some breathing


How many New Years should I endure


And unwelcome thoughts bound I to jest


A dozen good strangers will do


Yet millions so unneeded


"To Heaven, sir? And Hell too. For it's the same place, you see."


Well, my sweets


Still distance too great


And let's walk a little


​Shall we?

​
​I woke up knowing the burden of great weight, brought


by the sins of this world


A great ether that dance by itself, emanates


infinitely into the belly of galaxies


Waves descend, crushes the tiny intellects, possessed


in the immediate fixated brains of ape


Reading Apes, shooting bullets of love to end themselves, jump


in boyish titillation, ripple the pool of blood


Howl, Howl, overwhelms little whimpers of guilt, arise


triumphant the valiant idol of memory everlasting


Preaching on a mount to the bowing knaves:


Thou shall not know but live in thy charge;


Thou shall place hope;


Thou shall not feel but live in tomorrow;


Thou shall be joyous;


Thou shall obey and never question;


Thou shall abide trust.


And Thus,


made the Sins Of This World


When thou art perpetually not kin but exploitable foe


Crumbling the lowly order of this newly garden, crowns


a deathful chaos to rule in the soon of silence.

​
​Splitting Rain and Populated dreams


I Ride in the Night


For 6 hours straight 


Finishing a journey of 


235 days, Two Hundred And Thirty Five Days


The World is itself again


And I, an elevated baboon, at long last, is itself


Too


The Governing Dynamics


is 

​
in every wind, every chirping bird, every thrusting


bush, every burping frog, every source of light,


and everything and anything at Once


Right Now,


in this 3AM parking lot,


a continuous harmony.


I'm better at picking up and linger in the 


taste


of the smell after fresh rain.


Harmony.


Takes very much and nothing at all to


Emerge.


Simply put,


When The World Sang,


I Listened.

Something I don’t understand


That people can laugh when others are in their most agony


Somehow the pain and suffering is completely unreal to anyone who is not experiencing or never will get a taste of it


They just laugh when they see or hear it


Looks silly, sounds silly, annoyance, why bother, go on with my day, have another cup of coffee


Something I don’t understand


That people can be in their most agony when others are laughing


Somehow the laughter is uniquely a privatized property, belongs only to these god-selected men and women in all times across all eras


They are still laughing and having a swell time when joe here is deep in debt, pursued by the sharks, sold his wife and children, hiding in the slumps and smoking his last cigarette while contemplating about the different measures to commit suicide while some young men and young women are having a dance on the sidewalk


Looks nice, hands clutched, groping each other, kiss on the mouth, hugging and murmuring, slipping in paradise


Something I don’t understand


That they all happened at once when we suppose to love each other and what not


Oh hell, whatever.


Guess I will never understand

​

It is a so-called year of number two thousand and nineteen


Where things lost meanings when bad people abuse their ability to assign meaning


Insincerely, 


A hegemonic monotonous place where people have conquered weather 


and 


Reshaped their natural habitat in unrecognizable forms


​But,


There is always somewhere to rest in a coffee house for you, Mr. 


Presentable Generic Man.


In this coffee house people come in here to drink a type of water 


With a thousand different flavors in 


Containers of different sizes with


A thousand special names


Where bland music tune plays from a box in the place somewhere and


No one listens to it even though it’s there.


The special water they drink in coffee houses are meant to cause certain


Wanted effects in themselves, it


Erase sleep, induce alert, lead focus, 


and 


Call for an autonomous ever-more immersing yet hyper active


Special state of human.


A coffee house


Designated as a gathering place for


Hundreds of people to intoxicate together and


stare into screens, stare into books, mildly discussing whatever blows, or 


Just sipping the special type of water


Ever "connected" yet depleted


Lost in his own maze with souls of me you and her.


The coffee house is for


The furthering of an incomprehensible Spectacle that 


Always fails expectation


Despite all the greatest advertisements and dramatizations.


A coffee house is 


the most real reality.


Just too bad that 


we are inside it. 


Ever feel the air is so tight that there is no use breathing?


Perhaps just don’t breath


And go on,


Have another sip.

​
What are you looking for?


Your heirs have this earth dominated, certainly wielding a sharp sword


Envy, Rage, Panic, Angst, Crime


What are you looking for?


Your prized possessions rush through every heart and every mind, causing endless rows


Unrest, Powerlessness, Second-doubting, Despairing, Blood


What are you looking for?


Your reign benefits no one and not even you, who delights in making pain?


Ignorance, Complains, Inaction, Passivity, Slaves


What are you looking for?


One man relinquish after another, who learns nothing but begs for everything


Death, Death, Death, Death, Again


What are you looking for?


Sensual pursuits is the only thing remains, robbed of freedom


Drunk, Drugged, Diseased, Deranged, Lost


Just what are you looking for?


How can you ever be in peace? How can you ever know peace?


If it’s only you ruling the world, then all is lost


Without a doubt you are smirking, our princely lord


But damn with you and pity to your heart


There isn’t a thing you are looking for


You are the one who is lost.

Even in the wild, the parking lots are full


with patrolmen lurking by, assigning citations to cars


RVs, Trucks, SUVs, Sedans, Convertibles, bikes, baby strollers


hovering by in herds from one marked attraction to the other


“Would you take a picture of us, please?”


“Sure”


Their smiles are on cue, some seem more real and others


are bluntly fake


Then they take back their phone, says thank you,


begin to admire themselves in wilderness


Shuttle buses are enforced to prevent over-parking,


there will be Fifty to Eighty people in line,


waiting, chatting, taking more photos,


and when they get in the bus, they listen attendantly 


to the driver’s words, stare into the windows, and 


stand up


when the driver tells them there’s some deers on path


At dinner,


Families will sit together and watch Football on


the big TV, drinking soda and stuffing pizza slices to their guts.


The children will run around and yell at each other


The adults will sit down with beer bottles and yell at the kids


The cashiers are either fat, bored, slow in words


or bear a heaviness on their faces,


I did find it difficult to describe them in a few words,


until it came to me:
​

The entire place


is one big family.


​

I Am Drowning in a River of Blood


Bloated, Floated, Streaming Down with Rain


My Insides are in Pieces, a Broken Jar made of Clay


Detached, Disfigured, Part by Part laying on the Ground


I Murdered, Deceived, Ridiculed for Joy


I Loved, Cared, Scorned for Pain


Life is not merely a bag of shit, But a Leaky one as well


Crawling through the corpses of my Brethren was I Born


Kill and Bash anyone in my way when I Breath


Till I break down, A Cracked Old Log Caught on Fire


A Dismal, Yellow-Green flame glow upon the path of Decay


Am I to wonder, "Is That all There is"?


Or Am I too Tired, Senseless, Lifeless to Ask?


I Drained my Soul through an Empty hole

​
Remains a Bloodless Fool

​

I slept for 14 hours, intentionally


just to see what the world has to offer


well, it ain’t bad


I was hanging out with old friends that I could barely remember


they were lively and laughing


as if we just met in years


I carried the happy mood with me


it’s not that different from actually meeting them


time suspends, friends gather for the sake of seeing each other and make play


oh my dear souls, you were the purest when I was dreaming 


thus I make my case, I will dream more


to feel your love without temperament of this world


​

The night is where the demon lies

when, all day, when the sun slips

it detects the pieces of your heart

the fresh wounds and unamendable scars

dried tears hidden in day-dreams and paranoias

the little kid underneath that pinstripe suit

every lie behind every word and smile


it happens to be


as soon as the sun abandons this earth

just when darkness rides high and might 

“Hunt!” hear the demon cries

flesh dries up in those scars as blood drains away into another world

it devours you into a piece of dust

mute, deaf, blinding brain scraps saying there is no tomorrow

“Make it stop!”

toss and turn,

and just then

a new, strong sun shines again, come in to rescue

so you may close your eyes

and sleep again.


​

Oh it’s December 14th already


Days went by without ever saying goodbye


My love, where have you gone?


Is there a graveyard, a heaven or hell for the time passed?


Would you ever come back to my arm, deep in my heart, 


on the tip of my lip, greets me with a warm embrace?


No my dear, you leave without a second thought,


Such a bad lover as I am, never cherish each and every moment we share


Perhaps I deserve it, but you do love me


you come back every day and every night


on cold winter snowy days,


on hot summer rainy nights,


you do always come back.


But why do you always leave and reappear?


Can’t you be with me, all the time? 


Aren’t we soul mates since we met?


Why always tear my heart open and sew it together with tender kiss?


I never understood you,


twenty-three years, my love, I still don’t really know you.


I can’t even dare to make a promise to treat you better,


because I know I will fail.


The last defense is my fragile honesty, 


As a gentleman, I never lied to you, tis proven.


But why do you still bother with me? 


Can we become better lovers? Start from now? 


You always say “You are just in love with the idea that you are in love.”


Let me get better at loving then, my sweetest.


I am afraid… of you will leave me forever, I am afraid that day will come eventually.


Never leave me? Please?


How can I live without your love?


I love you, another me.


As I grew wiser, I’m knowing you better.


Till that day, let us merry.
​

Be my bride throughout this eternity.

​
There is only so much to life.


Post-understanding is merely putting up the numbers.


How many important ideals, beliefs…all sorts of notions that give drive to
blindly going on, rushing into sleeps and forgetting the humanness within
are just Arbitrary Fictions?


Way, way too many.


Enough to crush any man’s soul.


The Gift of Truth is bestowed to the ones who are willing to climb out the mountain of corpses.


Then the search turns into wandering in the blizzard forests,


Directions lost, time lose track, Nights & Days but Walk, Walk, and Walk.


In a hope full of Moxie, to go on and on, and on.


To get strong, to survive, to reach, 


To become, to lose and gain, 


Till one fine afternoon, swishing a wand and utter: 


“No More.”


To try is to live in courage,


Courage makes a Man and a Woman in face of the None.


Fight on, Warriors,


I clap my hands to those Stand and Down.